2010 Three Strike Tour
July 23, 2010
Hello dogs and bangers.
I’m just rolling back into the zone, from a zippy little tour around the world, essentially a chance to touch ground with my best minga’s in the continent and northern USA.
First though, let me encourage you to tell your friends about the Vinyl Burns blog… Domination is all about dominating, and without you all helping out, I can’t dominate as completely and as believably as we’d all like. To incentivise you all in this task, I am offering 40 puppies to the first 40 new subscribers. So, if you’d like your friend to get a puppy, get them all signed up!
I began my tour by stopping off for an earthy, rustic and ‘real’ one on one with fans in Dundas, Ontario… The Dundas Buskers Festival, where the coffee was hot, and the schedule was blistering. My associates and I enjoyed the finest coffee in Canada at “Detour” roastery… with some healthy ex-pat New Zealand links… Where else are you going to learn that trade?
I then popped around the corner to the world renowned Waterloo Arts Festival, where I launched the Vinyl Burns Experience – The concert that will change the world (one way or the other™). Big francophone ups to A-Bomb Rosso, my road technician for the festival… he kept the stadium cool and the sounds damp, not to mention wiring me up and padding down the dental regions as needed. Stay tuned for his own album “Je cherche pour ma femme” – out in the fall.
From there, I popped across the ‘Lantic to do a little benefit gig for Louis Vuitton, Gucci, Channel, Calvin Klein and Christian Dior. The whole shindig happened in a beautiful little fake 1850s San Francisco village nestled deep in the Belgian foothills (that’s all they have) of Maasmechelen, Belgium.
Now I’m home, soaking up winter on the horse farm, and bustling up some new moves for the Fall.
If you want to see more of the pictures from the tour, don’t forget to visit, like, friend and poke me on facebook http://www.facebook.com/vinylburnsband and of course, check out the blog and video archive at http://www.vinylburns.com – it’s all there for you, mister-missus.
Sincerely, Vinyl Burns, Forever – www.vinylburns.com
Dr Vinyl Burns
Revised 2010 Tour Dates
April 28, 2010
Hello dirty comedy festival goers.
Vinyl Burns in the Leisure Stepper Gangsta shoot
I just wanted to let you kats know that my plans have changed. I will be splitting my mid year plans into two, possibly more, tours.
The schedule that follows is the current plan.
This differs from the plan currently on my website www.vinylburns.com and I’ll update it soon, but I wanted you to know about it first, because you love me, and I, in turn, respect that love for me. Plus, it’s just polite.
Vinyl Burns 2010 world tour.
Part One: June
Canada – Dundas Buskers Festival & Waterloo Arts Festival
Europe – Festival Del Mundo, Maasmechelen, Belgium
Part Two: July
Secret new project in New Zealand
Part Three: August/September
Aug 4 – 6 Digby Tall Ships Festival, Digby, Nova Scotia CA tbc
Aug 4 – 8 Digby Scallop Festival, Digby, Nova Scotia CA tbc
Aug 13 – 22 Berlin Lacht Alexanderplatz, Berlin DE tbc
Aug 26 – 29 Berlin Lacht Kurfürstendamm, Berlin DE tbc
Aug 31 – Sep 6 PNE, Vancouver CA tbc
Sept 17 – 20 Melbourne Juggling Conv, Melbourne AU
Sept 23 – Oct 3 WOW, Wellington NZ tbc
So that’s that… still plenty of Vinyl time for everyone, just a little changed.
Also, the Comedy Festival is currently on in Wellington and New Zealand… go and check it out, because there’s more to great comedy than just me.
VB – WD40 – 24/7
A flash of new
March 2, 2010
Diggers and Wiggers,
I truly believe that this will find you all in fine health and easy spirits.
I’ve just undergone my quarterly re-branding for tax, fan, health and mechanical reasons, and I invite you all to explore the new flavours of the Vinyl Burns website.
Hosted inside, you will find a methpot of juicy gems from my recent history… samples of the album, music videos, tutorials, medical seminars, nocturnal social experiments, cooking documentaries and much more besides…
Less prominent in this recreation of my public image, is the focus on my acts for sale… While I’m still more than happy to make appearances for children, struggling business and cash, I felt that my followers deserve a sanctuary from the Vinyl Burns hard sell… a place where they can simply relax and enjoy the environment that is vinylburns.com .
Of course, if you wish to arrange to book an appearance from myself, or any one of my stunt doubles, I will gladly direct you towards my management at www.kiwicomedy.com
For now though… a little hot tip for you all. An exciting new project is underway, and now is the time to let your associates know that you were in on the VB ground floor, before the masses. So, pass on the Vinyl loving vibe, and lets see if we can’t all tell two friends…
I’ll keep you posted through here, and will offer you the very very best in immediacy and nowness… Coming soon, Chit Chat Lounge extras, 2010 tour dates, plus tales of my time on the set of “Galaxia” where I played evil Lord Jerkov.
Jingles
VB
Chit Chat 2010
February 13, 2010
Gentle hellos to you.
I’m moments away from boarding my flight into the city for the second night of our 2010 season of the Chit Chat Lounge. We opened last night to a sell out crowd on the 9th floor of the continental high hotel plaza in Nelson. Obviously, with a star studded cast such as we have, we can’t take the liberty of being in the same city as the Wellington Fringe Arts festival, so we tucked ourselves out of the way in Nelson.
Nevertheless, we had just over 800 people jammed into the corporate entertainment media suite up there on number 9… and to cater for the natural spillover crowd, we beamed the show live to various venues throughout the Asia / Pacific region, courtesy of CISCO systems. Their tech allows the audience in the ‘official’ venue, Fringe Bar, Wellington… to experience the show, as if we were actually there.
The stream of caption suggestions continued to flow… text Derek with your Chit Chat Lounge slogan suggestion.
“Chit Chats, they’re… ________________________”
In any case, we enjoyed a few beautiful guests including the relatively not-mad Guy Capper. The furious and unpredictable genius of the man took us to new places… I love that dark dark doctor of the night. We were also deliciously catered to by the moody sublit beauty of Anthony Livingspace blowing a square bubble – as cool as square gets.
Speaking of things medical… we treated the good folks to a little sample of Vinyl’s new community seminar package (for good looking but unfortunately sexless kids out there).
Check out more at www.vinylburns.com
Tonight, make sure you’re there, or tune in to the twitter and facebook-scape and enquire about the health of the show. We’ll be unleashing yet more violently smooth music, easy love tips, good looking guests and a host of prizes…
Special features: The Olympic Games Love Mix special edition.
Give it the munt, kids!
I’ll see you there.
VB
The Vinyl Burns Shop
January 24, 2010
Good tidings to you, one and alls…
As a good friend of mine often says…
“A lot of you folks will have trouble attaching a financial value to the 45 minutes of intangibly high quality life experience that we’ve shared… So here’s some stuff you can buy.”
It’s been troubling me for some time, this gaping void in my multimedular tri-continental personality driven empire of good vibes… an inexplicable hollow moan in an otherwise hushed room of awe.
Now, and end is in sight… a destination for those many weary seekers who saught to see the light reflected into their eyeballs, off a luxuriously fashioned, yet patronisingly affordable trinket.
Behold… The Vinyl Burns Merchendise Emporium.
http://www.cafepress.com/vinylburns
Also accessable vie the usual channels… http://www.vinylburns.com
I wish you all the happiest of shopping… and as a special introductory offer, I will be offering a special reduced price… (I’m only making 20% on these goodies, so reducing it to 10% for the first week).
That’s right, I gots shirts, shorts, ladies underthings, mugs, pens, clocks, bags, steins, thongs, frames, pillows, pet bowls, dog shirts, infant bodysuits, ringer Ts, value T’s, Green T’s, maternity dark T’s, tank tops, golf shirts, pads, stationery, hats, caps and bibs…
If I don’t have it, ask me for it, and either I’ll have it soon, or I’ll tell you that I can’t get it… GUARANTEED!
You can’t ask fairer that that.
It’s like Big Save Furniture, but without the Furniture.
So I’ll see you there!
http://www.cafepress.com/vinylburns
VB – it’s the putting it on the right hand side, that counts.
VB
Horse House #2
January 20, 2010
Vinyl Burns plays "Greek Mail Order Wife" in video for "Poetry Slam"
Hooolaaah Revelers.
I trust you all survived the holiday break and are itching to see more action in 2010.
I myself am just about to go into production month on the Chit Chat Lounge 2010 project. Year four and we’ve enlisted additional writers, wardrobe consultants and renovated the greenroom media suite to allow for the Scandinavian networks to do their simulcasts standing up.
I had hoped to have my people attach a music file to this, to remind you of the good times created at Horse House Studios last summer… but they didn’t know how. So, you can go to…
and find them there. I recommend “Dancer” – have a listen to that.
We also welcome the newest member of the Chit Chat band, who comes to us from a powerful and inspired James Cameron project… No names just yet, but you can be sure that three 90 minute rehearsals will have us cooking with the same beige-warm intensity as you felt on the back of your neck last Autumn, walking back from the dairy with some soda powder for those ulcers.
Remember to go to http://www.vinylburns.com and sign up to the mailing list, to receive FREE mp3s of all Vinyl’s hit songs and video clips.
Also, in light of recent terrible events, the Chit Chat Lounge will officially be raising funds, in the form of generous audience donation, for those suffering in Haiti under the strain of fallen architecture and mountain sides. Rest assured that every cent raised will go towards delicious beverages with which we will toast to the future good health of those good people.
So, stay focused, and tune to the Chit Chat Lounge at the sites below.
http://www.myspace.com/chitchatlounge
http://www.facebook.com/search/?q=chitchatlounge&init=quick#/group.php?gid=6350944981&ref=ts
Remember, Vinyl Burns is a lovely place to spend your evening.
Peace on your face.
VB
I can FEEL it.
Party 2010
December 28, 2009
Hello G
2010 is almost upon us, so I felt the urge to throw down some honest partying advice to those of you ready to shake off the festivities of 2009, and drop it down into 4th gear for a night.
I’ll keep it short, cos who really wants to be tied up behind the computer all summer. I offer 3 tips.
1) Just because the sand is mostly yellow, doesn’t mean you can’t put it in your mouth sometimes.
2) When a lady on the beach asks “Is anybody looking”, she means “Stop looking at me”
3) Sometimes the novelty of renting a beach house, just like regular people, is cooled somewhat by bad management, with a short grass fixation. I’m a jungle lover!!!
Well, that’s about it from me for 2009. Wherever you’re spending your New Years Eve, just know that I’ll be with thousands of lucky families in the Civic Square of Wellington City, New Zealand.
Here’s a little party song to get you in the mood!
http://bit.ly/18S4rv
I’m Vinyl Burns.
Merry Christmas Ladies
December 24, 2009
Hello Dolls and Action Figures…
I just wanted to send out a short message of forgiveness and good time loving, to all the delicious followers out there.
It’s a jam packed summer for me, shooting some new films, maybe releasing a follow up single or two to accompany the hit smashing album “Can’t stop forgetting again”. I’ll also be appearing at various gigs over the summer…
New Years Eve in Wellington’s Civic Square
The Chit Chat Lounge at Wellington’s Fringe bar, throughout February
A special on screen appearance as “Lord Jerkov” at the interactive 80′s dance party “Galaxia”
Even if you don’t see me out there, you’ll feel my presence… So with that in mind….
Vinyl Burns is coming to town...
Happy Christmas.
Your local focal Jesus.
VB
