A Summer Tour
January 10, 2011
This is going to be weird.
I’m about to head out on tour. Now, that in itself isn’t too strange… I’m certainly not unfamiliar to the grime of the vaudeville road, that’s why I take so many baths. Thing is… since retiring down here in tropical electric paradise, most, if not all of my touring has been undertaken in the form of a giant, lengthy, commitment laden “northern summer” tour of such salubrious festival circuits as Canada, Eastern Europe, The U.A.E., Brazil and even the Spanish clubber’s beach paradise El Campello.
Spanish Club Dates 1988
This time it will be different. This time, it will be local.
Now, despite being retired, I still keep my hand in some pretty fruity pies down here… in part, to inspire a new generation of wannabes, but also, to be honest, because I can’t stay away from the business. It’s in my blood… and it’s not alone, so I gots to keep the show biz pumping through my veins, or the biological ratio of good vs evil will get all out of whack… and who needs that.
So, I work a healthy circuit of gigs here. All kinds of shit… all across the board… all tiers, classes, creeds, flavours, genders, budgets, venues, menus… I soak it all up, cos I like to keep it real. Also, it’s a small place, and there aren’t too many options.
This time around though, I’ve switched it up. After 12 years of being woo’d and quietly coaxed, I’ve relented, and will be attending the Christchurch World Buskers Festival.
Now this is a nice gig… Chilled schedule, beautiful locals, and a good solid pampering for the crew. But what makes it very very odd for me, is having all my buddies from the northern circuits right here, now, shoulder to shoulder, on my turf. Circumstance finally allowing me to play host to some of my closest friends and finest acts on the planet. I will love it, as will all the performers and public fans alike…
The Worlds Finest Clowns
The novelty, and resulting weirdness I feel about it all, has reminded me why I chose this neglected backchannel to wind down my career with the grace and dignity it deserves… You see, by retiring here, where there’s next to nothing going on, I can help to build a faith and passion in this industry, yet with the non-threatening status of “retired legend”, putting the youngsters at their ease. I wear the respect, without the agro.
That’s all well and good, but sometimes, when the world comes to town for ten days, and you’re invited to go play with them… it’s mighty nice to feel the local breeze on your chest, hear the local voices in your head, and drink the local wines, with your local lips.
I welcome the world’s best to Christchurch this month, and hope you’ll live the dream with us.
Kia Ora Kaha Te Whanau
Vinyl
Chit Chat 2010
February 13, 2010
Gentle hellos to you.
I’m moments away from boarding my flight into the city for the second night of our 2010 season of the Chit Chat Lounge. We opened last night to a sell out crowd on the 9th floor of the continental high hotel plaza in Nelson. Obviously, with a star studded cast such as we have, we can’t take the liberty of being in the same city as the Wellington Fringe Arts festival, so we tucked ourselves out of the way in Nelson.
Nevertheless, we had just over 800 people jammed into the corporate entertainment media suite up there on number 9… and to cater for the natural spillover crowd, we beamed the show live to various venues throughout the Asia / Pacific region, courtesy of CISCO systems. Their tech allows the audience in the ‘official’ venue, Fringe Bar, Wellington… to experience the show, as if we were actually there.
The stream of caption suggestions continued to flow… text Derek with your Chit Chat Lounge slogan suggestion.
“Chit Chats, they’re… ________________________”
In any case, we enjoyed a few beautiful guests including the relatively not-mad Guy Capper. The furious and unpredictable genius of the man took us to new places… I love that dark dark doctor of the night. We were also deliciously catered to by the moody sublit beauty of Anthony Livingspace blowing a square bubble – as cool as square gets.
Speaking of things medical… we treated the good folks to a little sample of Vinyl’s new community seminar package (for good looking but unfortunately sexless kids out there).
Check out more at www.vinylburns.com
Tonight, make sure you’re there, or tune in to the twitter and facebook-scape and enquire about the health of the show. We’ll be unleashing yet more violently smooth music, easy love tips, good looking guests and a host of prizes…
Special features: The Olympic Games Love Mix special edition.
Give it the munt, kids!
I’ll see you there.
VB
A wise man once said…
March 30, 2009
Hello gang…
A friendly correspondent passed on these kind words, and while I don’t really understand what he mean’t, I felt you all deserve to stay in touch with how my public see me.
So, here you are…
Burns are all that are left scorching the dirty paisley carpet The Vinyl once strode upon, exploding into the lime and predominantly bage light creating a road others’ can never follow; 4 litres of Chocolate milk? Is this a challenge?
Is this a question of ignorance?
Wise man say: “They know not who they put to the test, tis the Vanilla Vizzle tis the BewilderBawizzle; Armageddon will come to pass, and pass it shall, there will stand only one, they shall call him not Vinyl or Burns, they shall call him; The Teeth of Destiny.”
That’s what the kids are saying thizzle dizzle.
VB
Vinyl Burns at the Edmonton Fringe 2008
March 26, 2009
I am a man. I have been a man for a long time… ever since that bad kebab in the off-license out the back of Briony’s Meat Palace in Camden. Good times.
This festival, I’ve been a little busy to keep you abreast of my activities, so I’ll now run through a poetic summary of the recent past.
I’ve seen heat. I was pleased to be performing in 42 degree heat, in front of 53 people and a discarded hotdog. The 2nd hottest day in the history of Edmonton brought me a powerful experience and brought the greenroom a powerful odor.
My room mate Aytahn slid into the darkness of lazy company and sadly or gladly, watched her sleep on the floor, whilst he dreamed of more successful moves, lying on a pile of mattresses, duvets, cereal boxes and a frisbee…
The shows come and the shows go… sometimes they feel like being killed… sometimes there’s a reason for that. Every now and then, you’re given a tiny glimpse into the reality of what you offer to people, and that turns it all around.
You can love me from afar… but I won’t be there for long.
VB
