The Vinyl Burns Shop

Good tidings to you, one and alls…

As a good friend of mine often says…

“A lot of you folks will have trouble attaching a financial value to the 45 minutes of intangibly high quality life experience that we’ve shared… So here’s some stuff you can buy.”

It’s been troubling me for some time, this gaping void in my multimedular tri-continental personality driven empire of good vibes… an inexplicable hollow moan in an otherwise hushed room of awe.

Now, and end is in sight… a destination for those many weary seekers who saught to see the light reflected into their eyeballs, off a luxuriously fashioned, yet patronisingly affordable trinket.

Behold… The Vinyl Burns Merchendise Emporium.

http://www.cafepress.com/vinylburns

Also accessable vie the usual channels… http://www.vinylburns.com

I wish you all the happiest of shopping… and as a special introductory offer, I will be offering a special reduced price… (I’m only making 20% on these goodies, so reducing it to 10% for the first week).

That’s right, I gots shirts, shorts, ladies underthings, mugs, pens, clocks, bags, steins, thongs, frames, pillows, pet bowls, dog shirts, infant bodysuits, ringer Ts, value T’s, Green T’s, maternity dark T’s, tank tops, golf shirts, pads, stationery, hats, caps and bibs…

If I don’t have it, ask me for it, and either I’ll have it soon, or I’ll tell you that I can’t get it…  GUARANTEED!

You can’t ask fairer that that.

It’s like Big Save Furniture, but without the Furniture.

So I’ll see you there!

http://www.cafepress.com/vinylburns

VB – it’s the putting it on the right hand side, that counts.

VB

Land Ladies…

My People…

I’m no stranger to home ownership, property development and commercial exploitation of the rental tides.

However much of an expert I am on these matters, I like to think that I owe it, in part, to my strategy of staying in touch with the regular folks…  I do this, by renting a few properties around the place.  Just to see how it feels, you understand.

In between whipping up a frenzy of rock-bizz on stages around the planet, I sometimes spend time “re-rentalizing” my self at one of these little places.

It was in one such place, here, today, that I came face to face with the age old bug bear of the urban renter… the land lady.

She pulled the oldest scam in the book… the surprise inspection.

I didn’t resist too much… after all I had little to hide in this beach side hobo shack… just my down-synthesized sub-average lounge space, and a few of my own items, for peace of vibe.  But I was awestruck by here brazen and bold faced implementation of the following tricks of the trade.

1) The “I’ll just walk in the back door without knocking”

2) The “oh, didn’t you get the letter about the inspection…?”

3) The “I’m inspecting you the day after I finally fixed that light fitting you’ve been asking about for six weeks”

4) The “let me just give you another gentle dig about how long the lawns are”

I would never, of course, dream of slandering a particular agency [Ray] my mentioning [White] them here… So instead of writing the name here, I have [Ray] cut them [White] from THIS document, and pasted them into another document, which should arrive in perfect synchronicity with the previously mentioned inspection notice.

[Ray White Real Estate]

Digging you every day…

VB

I will let you eavesdrop on my genius…

I was chatting with an old showbiz pal the other day, on the wireless intranet, and we ended up casually mulling over a few old ideas with powerful modern relevance in the current financial climate.  So I’ve cut and pasted it straight in here for you to learn a thing or two.

Just read between all the names and places and time stamps, to extract the powerful knowledge nestled within the power of this new dawn, this shining horizon of words.

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Burpies? as in exercise?
10:43pmVinyl

yeah

when it’s night time, you can’t go running around near the horses…

freaks everybody out

so a little living room jumping around is the way to go
10:44pmVernon

Freakin’ brilliant mate, go you… what’re you up to?
10:44pmVinyl

reading up on GTD

“getting things done”

and putting together promo

how was the Las Vegas gig?

did you do a spot in Cirque Du Money?
10:47pmVernon

I recommend THE POWER OF NOW. started working with Duchovny so took me a month to collect it after I ordered it. No way dude, we used their hotel for 3 of our shows after their season, Bernard said oh mate you’ll never even see the Lamas during an evening show, then they all oohed and aahed at the prairie scene. Bernard was also blown away that we pay our clowns!
10:48pmVinyl

good stuff

I don’t know if he really dreams that big…

such potential with that setup

and his connections

and his “man of the people” vibe…
10:50pmVernon

shshshshshsh… I know and Im scheming… and like last time I worked Vegas, people came up to us and asked what we were selling… still, I sold plenty of linen from the hotel, good sideline.
10:51pmVinyl

yeah

and you can often load up on shampoo and conditioner, soaps, airplane socks, hair nets…

Aytahn and I use them as givaways in our shows when we’d do Edmonton Fringe
10:53pm Vernon

give them away? not in a recession…
10:53pmVinyl

it’s like giving the kid $5

plant the seed

they’ll give back more than you gave out
10:57pmVernon

I’ve started giving the kid $4.50
10:58pmVinyl

of course…

that makes sense in a corporate environment

they’ll see the added value in your focused investment approach
10:59pmVernon

YES… it’s all on the understanding that the show AND MORE IMPORTANTLY THE AUDIENCE is actually worth more than the kid…
11:00pmVinyl

yes

and the more they pay you… the more they feel they deserved to be entertained
11:01pmVernon

and hopefully I’ve left before they analyse that logic too deeply
11:02pmVinyl

and that they’ve paid in cash, or some other form of “instant” money

————–

Live, Learn, Love to make the money…

Vinyl Burns