Popular Sh*t I have said…
February 15, 2012
It’s me again, and even again.
It seems that my people left the actual content out of this one last time, so here we are again, trying to provide you with the VB you need. Enjoy it this time.
Yes, writing it up once again and perhaps using a few too few expletives, but that’s just how I slice and dice.
the popularity of the “Sh*t my dad says” meme, encouraged my fans to request that I release some I my own spoken word sh*t.
Given that, as I recently coined the phrase ” I’m Vinyl Burns, and you’re nothing without me”, for an upcoming BBC TV project, it would be downright rude of me not to allow you, my fans, to be all you can possibly be, by giving you a whole lot of me… In your faces.
The beauty of the written word is that you can reread that paragraph as many times as you need, in order to understand what I’m saying, and then love me for it.
So, here’s the first installment of “Sh*t Vinyl Burns says”. Share it around by clicking on the “Share Vinyl Burns around” button, and above all, enjoy.
I don’t have time to say it all, but you can feel the knowledge breaking on your chest!” – Vinyl Burns
A flash of new
March 2, 2010
Diggers and Wiggers,
I truly believe that this will find you all in fine health and easy spirits.
I’ve just undergone my quarterly re-branding for tax, fan, health and mechanical reasons, and I invite you all to explore the new flavours of the Vinyl Burns website.
Hosted inside, you will find a methpot of juicy gems from my recent history… samples of the album, music videos, tutorials, medical seminars, nocturnal social experiments, cooking documentaries and much more besides…
Less prominent in this recreation of my public image, is the focus on my acts for sale… While I’m still more than happy to make appearances for children, struggling business and cash, I felt that my followers deserve a sanctuary from the Vinyl Burns hard sell… a place where they can simply relax and enjoy the environment that is vinylburns.com .
Of course, if you wish to arrange to book an appearance from myself, or any one of my stunt doubles, I will gladly direct you towards my management at www.kiwicomedy.com
For now though… a little hot tip for you all. An exciting new project is underway, and now is the time to let your associates know that you were in on the VB ground floor, before the masses. So, pass on the Vinyl loving vibe, and lets see if we can’t all tell two friends…
I’ll keep you posted through here, and will offer you the very very best in immediacy and nowness… Coming soon, Chit Chat Lounge extras, 2010 tour dates, plus tales of my time on the set of “Galaxia” where I played evil Lord Jerkov.
Jingles
VB
Chit Chat 2010
February 13, 2010
Gentle hellos to you.
I’m moments away from boarding my flight into the city for the second night of our 2010 season of the Chit Chat Lounge. We opened last night to a sell out crowd on the 9th floor of the continental high hotel plaza in Nelson. Obviously, with a star studded cast such as we have, we can’t take the liberty of being in the same city as the Wellington Fringe Arts festival, so we tucked ourselves out of the way in Nelson.
Nevertheless, we had just over 800 people jammed into the corporate entertainment media suite up there on number 9… and to cater for the natural spillover crowd, we beamed the show live to various venues throughout the Asia / Pacific region, courtesy of CISCO systems. Their tech allows the audience in the ‘official’ venue, Fringe Bar, Wellington… to experience the show, as if we were actually there.
The stream of caption suggestions continued to flow… text Derek with your Chit Chat Lounge slogan suggestion.
“Chit Chats, they’re… ________________________”
In any case, we enjoyed a few beautiful guests including the relatively not-mad Guy Capper. The furious and unpredictable genius of the man took us to new places… I love that dark dark doctor of the night. We were also deliciously catered to by the moody sublit beauty of Anthony Livingspace blowing a square bubble – as cool as square gets.
Speaking of things medical… we treated the good folks to a little sample of Vinyl’s new community seminar package (for good looking but unfortunately sexless kids out there).
Check out more at www.vinylburns.com
Tonight, make sure you’re there, or tune in to the twitter and facebook-scape and enquire about the health of the show. We’ll be unleashing yet more violently smooth music, easy love tips, good looking guests and a host of prizes…
Special features: The Olympic Games Love Mix special edition.
Give it the munt, kids!
I’ll see you there.
VB
Horse House #2
January 20, 2010
Vinyl Burns plays "Greek Mail Order Wife" in video for "Poetry Slam"
Hooolaaah Revelers.
I trust you all survived the holiday break and are itching to see more action in 2010.
I myself am just about to go into production month on the Chit Chat Lounge 2010 project. Year four and we’ve enlisted additional writers, wardrobe consultants and renovated the greenroom media suite to allow for the Scandinavian networks to do their simulcasts standing up.
I had hoped to have my people attach a music file to this, to remind you of the good times created at Horse House Studios last summer… but they didn’t know how. So, you can go to…
and find them there. I recommend “Dancer” – have a listen to that.
We also welcome the newest member of the Chit Chat band, who comes to us from a powerful and inspired James Cameron project… No names just yet, but you can be sure that three 90 minute rehearsals will have us cooking with the same beige-warm intensity as you felt on the back of your neck last Autumn, walking back from the dairy with some soda powder for those ulcers.
Remember to go to http://www.vinylburns.com and sign up to the mailing list, to receive FREE mp3s of all Vinyl’s hit songs and video clips.
Also, in light of recent terrible events, the Chit Chat Lounge will officially be raising funds, in the form of generous audience donation, for those suffering in Haiti under the strain of fallen architecture and mountain sides. Rest assured that every cent raised will go towards delicious beverages with which we will toast to the future good health of those good people.
So, stay focused, and tune to the Chit Chat Lounge at the sites below.
http://www.myspace.com/chitchatlounge
http://www.facebook.com/search/?q=chitchatlounge&init=quick#/group.php?gid=6350944981&ref=ts
Remember, Vinyl Burns is a lovely place to spend your evening.
Peace on your face.
VB
I can FEEL it.
Merry Christmas Ladies
December 24, 2009
Hello Dolls and Action Figures…
I just wanted to send out a short message of forgiveness and good time loving, to all the delicious followers out there.
It’s a jam packed summer for me, shooting some new films, maybe releasing a follow up single or two to accompany the hit smashing album “Can’t stop forgetting again”. I’ll also be appearing at various gigs over the summer…
New Years Eve in Wellington’s Civic Square
The Chit Chat Lounge at Wellington’s Fringe bar, throughout February
A special on screen appearance as “Lord Jerkov” at the interactive 80′s dance party “Galaxia”
Even if you don’t see me out there, you’ll feel my presence… So with that in mind….
Vinyl Burns is coming to town...
Happy Christmas.
Your local focal Jesus.
VB
Building a mountain of antisipation for the summer…
December 9, 2009
Hey there super-ladies and rock fella’s….
I just want you all to know I’m looking forward to serving up a hefty rucksack full of good sweet happiness and sun glazed forever-times this summer. When you’ve been around the world as many times as I have, you certainly look forward to the chilled time, busting out local shows and getting a package on in the sunshine.
If you want to know exactly where that package will be this summer, catch me at http://www.vinylburns.com and take up my introductory offer of free everything; cos I’m like that.
Xmas from Vnas
VB
The great tour of 2009
September 2, 2009
Hello Kids,
Having just completed my Northern Summer Tour for 2009, and having met so many great people, I just wanted to give you all a little shout out. It’s been a killer tour, taking in Cork, Dublin, Spruce Grove, Edmonton, Grande Prairie, Red Deer, Calgary, Crystal Lake, Edmonton again and finally a little time here in Vancouver, watching my manager sweat it out on the stage for a change… now THAT’s workin’ !
I fly the jet back into Wellington city on the 13th and jump right into the fantastical World Of Wearable Art awards. I’m regularly invited to pop along and ease the old biddies into the right frame of mind to enjoy the show… A touch of Vinyl usually makes the world of difference.
I’ll be taking October off, for the most part, and then heading out on the road with one of my management team, Kim Potter. He’s embarking on a music tour of New Zealand’s south island, and I’m going along as press adviser and general good time guy.
Check out his stuff at http://www.kimpotter.co.nz and maybe come and say hi sometime.
Word.
VB
Edmonton Fringe Festival 2009
August 15, 2009
Hello fellow battlers…
Welcome aboard the 2009 Fringe Theatre Adventure here in Edmonton, Alberta, Canada, Planet Earth.
I just wanted to remind everyone of my show times. There was a slight misprint in the printed program, which involved accidentally reversing the names of the two stages (Trans Alta / Journal)
So, here is my correct schedule… along with a reminder that you can’t ever trust the print media… only blogs and real people.
Friday, August 14, 2:15 pm – 3:00 pm (Edmonton Journal Stage)
Friday, August 14, 7:15 pm – 8:00 pm (TransAlta Power Stage)
Saturday, August 15, 3:15 pm – 4:00 pm (Edmonton Journal Stage)
Saturday, August 15, 8:15 pm – 9:00 pm (TransAlta Power Stage)
Sunday, August 16, 4:15 pm – 5:00 pm (Edmonton Journal Stage)
Sunday, August 16, 9:15 pm – 10:00 pm (TransAlta Power Stage)
Monday, August 17, 5:15 pm – 6:00 pm (Edmonton Journal Stage)
Monday, August 17, 10:15 pm – 11:00 pm (TransAlta Power Stage)
Tuesday, August 18, 12:15 pm – 1:00 pm (TransAlta Power Stage)
Tuesday, August 18, 6:15 pm – 7:00 pm (Edmonton Journal Stage)
Wednesday, August 19, 1:15 pm – 2:00 pm (TransAlta Power Stage)
Wednesday, August 19, 7:15 pm – 8:00 pm (Edmonton Journal Stage)
Thursday, August 20, 2:15 pm – 3:00 pm (TransAlta Power Stage)
Thursday, August 20, 8:15 pm – 9:00 pm (Edmonton Journal Stage)
Friday, August 21, 3:15 pm – 4:00 pm (TransAlta Power Stage)
Friday, August 21, 9:15 pm – 10:00 pm (Edmonton Journal Stage)
Saturday, August 22, 4:15 pm – 5:00 pm (TransAlta Power Stage)
Saturday, August 22, 10:15 pm – 11:00 pm (Edmonton Journal Stage)
Sunday, August 23, 12:15 pm – 1:00 pm (Edmonton Journal Stage)
Sunday, August 23, 5:15 pm – 6:00 pm (TransAlta Power Stage)
Photographs and Autographs will be available after each performance, but I prefer not to overdo it, as it lowers the resale value of them if I dish out too many… I owe it to my investors to keep it in the black… (not like that Virginia – lol).
Word, my popes.
