A Summer Tour

This is going to be weird.

I’m about to head out on tour.  Now, that in itself isn’t too strange… I’m certainly not unfamiliar to the grime of the vaudeville road, that’s why I take so many baths.  Thing is… since retiring down here in tropical electric paradise, most, if not all of my touring has been undertaken in the form of a giant, lengthy, commitment laden “northern summer” tour of such salubrious festival circuits as Canada, Eastern Europe, The U.A.E., Brazil and even the Spanish clubber’s beach paradise El Campello.

Spanish Club Dates 1988

This time it will be different. This time, it will be local.

Now, despite being retired, I still keep my hand in some pretty fruity pies down here… in part, to inspire a new generation of wannabes, but also, to be honest, because I can’t stay away from the business.  It’s in my blood… and it’s not alone, so I gots to keep the show biz pumping through my veins, or the biological ratio of good vs evil will get all out of whack… and who needs that.

So, I work a healthy circuit of gigs here.  All kinds of shit… all across the board… all tiers, classes, creeds, flavours, genders, budgets, venues, menus…   I soak it all up, cos I like to keep it real.  Also, it’s a small place, and there aren’t too many options.

This time around though, I’ve switched it up.  After 12 years of being woo’d and quietly coaxed, I’ve relented, and will be attending the Christchurch World Buskers Festival.

Now this is a nice gig…  Chilled schedule, beautiful locals, and a good solid pampering for the crew.  But what makes it very very odd for me, is having all my buddies from the northern circuits right here, now, shoulder to shoulder, on my turf.  Circumstance finally allowing me to play host to some of my closest friends and finest acts on the planet.  I will love it, as will all the performers and public fans alike…

The Worlds Finest Clowns

The novelty, and resulting weirdness I feel about it all, has reminded me why I chose this neglected backchannel to wind down my career with the grace and dignity it deserves…  You see, by retiring here, where there’s next to nothing going on, I can help to build a faith and passion in this industry, yet with the non-threatening status of “retired legend”, putting the youngsters at their ease.  I wear the respect, without the agro.

That’s all well and good, but sometimes, when the world comes to town for ten days, and you’re invited to go play with them… it’s mighty nice to feel the local breeze on your chest, hear the local voices in your head, and drink the local wines, with your local lips.

I welcome the world’s best to Christchurch this month, and hope you’ll live the dream with us.

Kia Ora Kaha Te Whanau

Vinyl

The Vinyl Burns Shop

Good tidings to you, one and alls…

As a good friend of mine often says…

“A lot of you folks will have trouble attaching a financial value to the 45 minutes of intangibly high quality life experience that we’ve shared… So here’s some stuff you can buy.”

It’s been troubling me for some time, this gaping void in my multimedular tri-continental personality driven empire of good vibes… an inexplicable hollow moan in an otherwise hushed room of awe.

Now, and end is in sight… a destination for those many weary seekers who saught to see the light reflected into their eyeballs, off a luxuriously fashioned, yet patronisingly affordable trinket.

Behold… The Vinyl Burns Merchendise Emporium.

http://www.cafepress.com/vinylburns

Also accessable vie the usual channels… http://www.vinylburns.com

I wish you all the happiest of shopping… and as a special introductory offer, I will be offering a special reduced price… (I’m only making 20% on these goodies, so reducing it to 10% for the first week).

That’s right, I gots shirts, shorts, ladies underthings, mugs, pens, clocks, bags, steins, thongs, frames, pillows, pet bowls, dog shirts, infant bodysuits, ringer Ts, value T’s, Green T’s, maternity dark T’s, tank tops, golf shirts, pads, stationery, hats, caps and bibs…

If I don’t have it, ask me for it, and either I’ll have it soon, or I’ll tell you that I can’t get it…  GUARANTEED!

You can’t ask fairer that that.

It’s like Big Save Furniture, but without the Furniture.

So I’ll see you there!

http://www.cafepress.com/vinylburns

VB – it’s the putting it on the right hand side, that counts.

VB

Horse House #2

Vinyl Burns plays "Greek Mail Order Wife" in video for "Poetry Slam"

Hooolaaah Revelers.

I trust you all survived the holiday break and are itching to see more action in 2010.

I myself am just about to go into production month on the Chit Chat Lounge 2010 project.  Year four and we’ve enlisted additional writers, wardrobe consultants and renovated the greenroom media suite to allow for the Scandinavian networks to do their simulcasts standing up.

I had hoped to have my people attach a music file to this, to remind you of the good times created at Horse House Studios last summer… but they didn’t know how. So, you can go to…

http://www.vinylburns.com

and find them there.  I recommend “Dancer” – have a listen to that.

We also welcome the newest member of the Chit Chat band, who comes to us from a powerful and inspired James Cameron project…  No names just yet, but you can be sure that three 90 minute rehearsals will have us cooking with the same beige-warm intensity as you felt on the back of your neck last Autumn, walking back from the dairy with some soda powder for those ulcers.

Remember to go to http://www.vinylburns.com and sign up to the mailing list, to receive FREE mp3s of all Vinyl’s hit songs and video clips.

Also, in light of recent terrible events, the Chit Chat Lounge will officially be raising funds, in the form of generous audience donation, for those suffering in Haiti under the strain of fallen architecture and mountain sides.  Rest assured that every cent raised will go towards delicious beverages with which we will toast to the future good health of those good people.

So, stay focused, and tune to the Chit Chat Lounge at the sites below.

http://www.myspace.com/chitchatlounge

http://www.facebook.com/search/?q=chitchatlounge&init=quick#/group.php?gid=6350944981&ref=ts

Remember, Vinyl Burns is a lovely place to spend your evening.

Peace on your face.

VB

I can FEEL it.

Party 2010

Hello G

2010 is almost upon us, so I felt the urge to throw down some honest partying advice to those of you ready to shake off the festivities of 2009, and drop it down into 4th gear for a night.

I’ll keep it short, cos who really wants to be tied up behind the computer all summer.  I offer 3 tips.

1) Just because the sand is mostly yellow, doesn’t mean you can’t put it in your mouth sometimes.

2) When a lady on the beach asks “Is anybody looking”, she means “Stop looking at me”

3) Sometimes the novelty of renting a beach house, just like regular people, is cooled somewhat by bad management, with a short grass fixation.  I’m a jungle lover!!!

Well, that’s about it from me for 2009.  Wherever you’re spending your New Years Eve, just know that I’ll be with thousands of lucky families in the Civic Square of Wellington City, New Zealand.

Here’s a little party song to get you in the mood!

http://bit.ly/18S4rv

I’m Vinyl Burns.

Merry Christmas Ladies

Hello Dolls and Action Figures…

I just wanted to send out a short message of forgiveness and good time loving, to all the delicious followers out there.

It’s a jam packed summer for me, shooting some new films, maybe releasing a follow up single or two to accompany the hit smashing album “Can’t stop forgetting again”.  I’ll also be appearing at various gigs over the summer…

New Years Eve in Wellington’s Civic Square

The Chit Chat Lounge at Wellington’s Fringe bar, throughout February

A special on screen appearance as “Lord Jerkov” at the interactive 80′s dance party “Galaxia”

Even if you don’t see me out there, you’ll feel my presence…  So with that in mind….

Vinyl Burns is coming to town...

Happy Christmas.

Your local focal Jesus.

VB