Love/Hate Seige

1

June 4, 2008 by vinylburns

When I’m out on the road, touring my multiply nominated performance roadshow experience to the public of North America, it’s easy to feel a little removed from the events back in the Fatherland – New Zealand.

I try to stay on top of the news, wherever I am, but it’s funny how often the media tend to get the wrong end of the stick, drag the stick through the mud, dowse it in diesel and set it on fire… only to run around the dirty flaming stick screaming “Fire, Fire… the dirty dirty stick is on fire!!!”

Today was just such a day.

“A clash of musical genres has seen police warn punk and indie rockers over their harassment of pop-classical singer… and her husband-manager”

The headline described the “plight” of New Zealand’s most talented and nationally respected performing artist, and her husband/manager/guardian… and went on to tell a tale of “harassment”, “victimization”, “bullying” and “nastiness”…

Nothing could be further from the truth.

I’ve been around. I’ve worked with a lot of great acts, and there are plenty of “on tour” tales I won’t dream of disclosing… I have too much respect for “the road”.

Suffice to say, over the several tours, and many multiples of nights in hotel rooms with this lovely couple, I’ve accumulated a small storeroom full of amusing stories of late night shenanigans involving these two. (I don’t mean to imply that there was three person, sexual activity… they’re Christians).

Now I play hard ball… sometimes dirty ball… I’ve been known to send a meat meal up to a vegan’s hotel room… but let me tell you, when it comes to pranks… New Zealand’s most enthusiastically promoted “husband and wife and could be his daughter” couple… give as good as they get!

They would always be the first to be ringing me up at 3am shouting about winning a “golden scroll” for “best marketing of an attractive expat Soviet teenager in the category of new opera”, or accepting a double dare to pull a “Keith Moon” on breakfast television. And Who indeed could forget that time they faked a crass, tasteless, overblown wedding to see who would show up… No doubt who had the last laugh that day… Priceless! (well, certainly very expensive but so worth it to see the look on those 30 people’s faces).

You can be sure that whatever those punks, metal-head, mods, rockers and emos have against Eastern European Progressive Crossover Angst Wave music, they will change their tune, as fast as this young lady’s listeners have.

The moral of all this… It’s easy to throw insults at successful, beautiful, exotic ladies as they climb the stepladder all the way to “Mr Success”. Just remember that from the top, it’s hard to bend down to retrieve the one’s you left… their names become as memorable as the spirit of change. That’s why success lives on top of the hill, and rock rolls down.

Sorry, I got a little emotional there for a moment.

As a great man once said…

“Throw up the horns!!!”

I’m Vinyl Burns.

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One thought on “Love/Hate Seige

  1. wave wave says:

    ?????????? responded by posting messages that included the statement: “We own the ONLY company in NZ that licenses music directly in Hollywood and chances are that your record label may one day approach us to license you.

    “We are also a publishing company and on (the) board of some companies that might ultimately make a decision about your career.”

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Dr Vinyl Burns

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My Management: Kiwi Comedy Ltd.

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