Reality Stunt Show

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May 22, 2010 by vinylburns

Slide over Graeme, your show is on!!!

It’s good to be here swapping electrons with you again.

It’s been a frantic week on the ranch, tagging the 2nd season of pigs and this winter’s trout crop, but trying not to disturb the olive grove or the llamas who share the same quadrant of the property. It took a little time, but once you get all the pigs into the water, you can just get all “4th of July” on ’em with the tagging gun, and by the time you’re done, you’ve hit most of the trout as well. That’s multitasking!

The only real issue is that the lake is right next to the olive grove, and sometimes the screaming of the pigs can freak out the llamas, and when they’re nervous, the chomp down on the olives. That’s expensive. This time around though, it was a crazy Northerly gale, which blew all that porky wailing right back up into the bush… We got lucky there.

Even with the busy week here in rural land, I’m still pretty much on target for my celebrity tour of Canada and Europe next month. This last week of preparations will have to be a bit of a half-pie effort though, as I’m the happy host of a surprise guest.

My good buddy Vesuvio Venezuela is down here from Italy.
We met in Spain back in 1982 when we were both taking time out from what had been an out of control few months for both of us. Our shared experiences of early 80’s excess helped us to form an instant bond, and although neither of us spoke a language common to Spain, or to each other, our mime skills were developed enough to silently say what each of our quiet minds was want to say quite loudly.

This week, Vesuvio was in my country rehearsing a new stunt for Phil Coogahn’s new reality NATO show.  I can’t discuss the details of the shoot too much, because it’s going to be pretty giant once it goes to air.  Also, Vesuvio was saying that a farmer got killed, and they can’t find his family, (or maybe they can’t find part of him, to give to his family… Vesuvio’s mime isn’t what it used to be), so in any case it’s good form to keep it quiet until they know what’s what. Or, indeed, where’s what.

What I can say is that the stunt draws on VV’s natural Italian charm and panache, to soothe the viewers through what can often evolve into an electric firestorm of a water adventure. The stunt involves a series of competitors or “delegates” to accelerate a motorcycle up to 85km/h and jump into an Olympic size swimming pool filled with foam rubber bricks, and a few pumpkins. The pool is intermittently connected to a 12V power supply too, for added spice. in addition, the bike is wired with tiny fireworks, so there’s no chickening out at the last second. The show is loosely modeled on the Iraqi show “Arm of Allah™”.

So, I can’t say too much more about the show, except that Vesuvio’s job was to teach the “delegates” to ride a LOT faster than 85km/h. For now, I just wanted to introduce you to the man himself… so here’s a short video segment I grabbed off his internet dating profile.
Ladies I give you Vesuvio Venezuela.

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Peace and Danger

Vinyl Burns & Vesuvio Venezuela

الفينيل بيرنز يؤمن لمس الجميع الطريق الصحيح

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Dr Vinyl Burns

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My Management: Kiwi Comedy Ltd.

My DJ Mixes: DJ Vinyl Burns

My Podcast: Jesus It's Early

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