April 10, 2014 by vinylburns
Everyone loves a top ten.
10 – Always wink at the server who ISN’T serving you.
9 – Order two drinks, then mix them in your own cocktail shaker. 8 – Ask, in a hushed voice, for a “dry latte”
7 – Ask for warm water on the side.
6 – Don’t use your phone if you’re sitting near the children’s play area. 5 – Don’t play in the children’s play area.
4 – Don’t pick herbs from the adjoining garden centre, to augment your salad. 3 – Ask them to turn the wifi off, as it messes with your pacemaker. 2 – Make a fuss about the cell reception, and ask for a free coffee. 1 – Talk loudly on the phone about how generous they are here…
That’s it suckers. My driver has itchy pedal-feet so we’re off to the gig.
Sorry it was a bit slap dash, but I didn’t want you to be hungry for Vinyl advice.
Sincerely and without malice.