Oasis from the harsh abrasive road.

Leave a comment

April 10, 2014 by vinylburns

Well, hello.

Everyone loves a top ten.

So here it is… My top ten cafe moves for 2014

10 – Always wink at the server who ISN’T serving you.
9 – Order two drinks, then mix them in your own cocktail shaker. 8 – Ask, in a hushed voice, for a “dry latte”
7 – Ask for warm water on the side.
6 – Don’t use your phone if you’re sitting near the children’s play area. 5 – Don’t play in the children’s play area.
4 – Don’t pick herbs from the adjoining garden centre, to augment your salad. 3 – Ask them to turn the wifi off, as it messes with your pacemaker. 2 – Make a fuss about the cell reception, and ask for a free coffee. 1 – Talk loudly on the phone about how generous they are here…

That’s it suckers. My driver has itchy pedal-feet so we’re off to the gig.

Sorry it was a bit slap dash, but I didn’t want you to be hungry for Vinyl advice.

Sincerely and without malice.

VB

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Dr Vinyl Burns

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 1,039 other followers

Links

My Management: Kiwi Comedy Ltd.

My DJ Mixes: DJ Vinyl Burns

My Podcast: Jesus It's Early

Top Posts & Pages

%d bloggers like this: