Comedy Festival Survival Tips

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May 8, 2014 by vinylburns

Serious People,


It’s NZ Comedy Festival time, and many of you will venture out of your dank suburban, urban, and urban disturbance, evil smelling dwellings, to soak up the hilarious wash of comedians misery, packaged up and spun as fiction, satire or just plain lies.


It’s all true.


Whatever you hear, it’ll seem light, fleeting and transient, but it’s real.  Comedians are broken, shuddering creatures, with few life skills, and even fewer social skills.


They barely function in society, but it’s ok, because, you know, balance… juxtaposition… arts funding… stuff like that.


Anyhows, here’s my top ten tips for surviving a month of shows.


1) Sit at the front
2) I mean the back
3) It doesn’t matter, if you’re destined for ridicule, they’ll find you
4) Chill out Madonna, it’s not about destroying you, it’s about making you the hero
5) Well, unless the comedian is a total hack, then it’s going to hurt
6) You’re not the funny one, that’s why YOU pay THEM.
7) Shut your mouth. (See #6)
8) You’re probably a better person than them, but they’re better at life than you
9) It’s not much of a life
10) No, I mean’t yours.


There you go, I hope that’s set you up for a fantastic week of comedy and interaction.

Come see more of my wisdom at my show…Image Vinyl Burns’ Variety Hour, Fringe Bar, Wed 14 – Sat 17, 10pm


See you out there!



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Dr Vinyl Burns

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My Management: Kiwi Comedy Ltd.

My DJ Mixes: DJ Vinyl Burns

My Podcast: Jesus It's Early

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