Festival addiction correction

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May 23, 2014 by vinylburns

So, crybabies…


You’ve found yourself at the end of the New Zealand International Festival of Comedy and Swearing.

I understand how sad you must be… having no idea that there is fine entertainment available to you on your very doorstep, all year around.  Here, to help you with that transition from “What you’re told is good, handed to you on a plate” to “All the stuff you’d actually love, if you just had the desire to access it”… are my top ten tips for post corporate festival comedown blues.


1) Crying is good

2) Get drunk and yell at people who are trying to do something for you

3) Turn a mop upside down and put it near a lamp.  It looks like most New Zealand comedians

4) Two weeks from now you’ll be sad about the end of something else you were told you needed

5) Say something.  Maybe you’re better than them

6) You should probably do your tax, so you have some real pain to deal with

7) Maybe you’re mad because you didn’t understand most of the jokes

8) Jokes are jokes. Lies are jokes. Lists are lies.

9) Did you decide to be sad or did TV tell you to be?

10) [Hold for laugh]


So, there you go… that should help you to stop missing the comedy festival so much.


Waka Waka




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Dr Vinyl Burns

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My Management: Kiwi Comedy Ltd.

My DJ Mixes: DJ Vinyl Burns

My Podcast: Jesus It's Early

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