Fatty Pancakes

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July 29, 2014 by vinylburns

Hello Hungries,

The science and art of pancakes and shortcuts.

I’m a huge proponent of reckless and indulgent enjoyment of just about anything.  Food, fun, flesh… I dig it all, and in moderation, or excess, they’re all great for you.

I’m a hell of a chef, of course… and while I’m a whizz in the kitchen or over the BBQ (check THIS out), I’ve spent the last 13 years 100% focused on perfecting the pancake.

To cut to the chase, the secret is to include pig fat, use a naked flame and play funk music at about 95 decibels… The vibrations keep the bubbles under control.

It’s a flawless approach, and a delicious result. 
And fattening?


I think you should embrace the fat stuff.  Food, mainly… But not everyone feels that way, and I can’t really get down with that skinny.  Not in my heart.

pancakeheadThat said, I do have a number of fruity sensitive types, secreted away deep inside my Facebook friendliness database, not to mention real world friendsters, who have a long history of actually being in the same room as me.  It’s amazing, you should try it.

So, for my more sensitive and fragile pals, here’s a clean, simple, less delicious, but still technically, pancake recipe.

It’s adapted from this one… But mine is much much bigger.


3 cup whole wheat flour

3/4 tsp baking SODA

3/4 tsp salt

(3/4 tsp cinnamon if you like)

Mix dry ingredients

Add splash of vanilla

Add tonnes of skim milk to make proper pancake consistency. (I like mine the consistency of smooth-lumpy horse-ranch dressing).  You can also just use WATER, if you’re really going for the skinny vibe.

Then, just cook it.

A pancake is not a weapon, it's a delicious pancake.

A pancake is not a weapon, it’s a delicious pancake.

If you need instructions on that part, sweet Bonus Bonds, I can’t help you.


Because a good pancake session should last about 45 minutes, and some of you lack the focus to really hammer down and nail that business to the back of the pan… I’m including this massive pancake mega mix of funk solid retro flavours, so you have something to listen to while you’re doing the Pancake-Jesus’s work.

So, there you go… Get on it!

Bon Bon Appitite


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Dr Vinyl Burns

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My Management: Kiwi Comedy Ltd.

My DJ Mixes: DJ Vinyl Burns

My Podcast: Jesus It's Early

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