Super Burn


August 10, 2014 by vinylburns

Hello Financial Constituents.


I’m a generous and good looking old cat, but sometimes you just have to say, yeah, sure… mmmmm hmmmm… really? nope… no… uuuuuh… actually, no…  no…. Well, as I’ve said…  nope… no….  are you serious…? Good bye.


imagesYou see, charity is all good… in fact, some of my favourite people sub-exist on it.  They don’t even fuss about trying to extract anything from the system they propped up for 20 years of good times…  Nope, they just get on with it and hope that Mr Jesus drops a few buns in their old bucket of love.


That sounds dirty, but it’s not.  It’s a clean bucket.


Anyway…  Here’s how I see it.


If you’re running a thing, and it’s 100% non commercial? Cool.

If you wear the floaty colours and bedazzle your twirlies and everything, that’s even better, and fair play to you.
If you’re all give and love and juju and voodoo and yin-yang and brown acid and wotnot… Cool for you and all your little special beans.


I’m super pumped that you’re welcoming and open and warm and shary and cosmunistic and gift-centric and that you keep smiling and nodding while you’re selling me a horse-boat full of stinky “No”.



Understandably, I’m honoured and pleasured and all wide eyed and wonderous that you’d open the chismic door of opportunity so I can come and give you my stuff, my show, my charisma… all without having to beg or touch your weenis or anything… Cool.
happy-hippyI can see how fair and sharing and even handed and Swiss and didgerivoodoo it is for tickets to be $200?  That’s ice baby fresh fun fairness, I reckon.
So clam-smooth even righteous right…? For the punters right? Yeah, wicked fair that people pay to get in on all the sharing and one-ness and level steady everything-ness that all the everyone-ness will experience and bring and share and give and not-take and stuff…

Oh, but what?  But like, hey man… woah, what now?

Oh yeah, I see… of course, total sense.  Yeah, everythingness and fairness that I work and give and share and contributize to the EXPERIENCE.



curse_of_the_hippie_parentsOne-ness…  Oneness and shared experience… for the people GIVING their souls to enhance the cosmic goodness, AND for the burnout faux-hippy-students on a Karori holiday who arrive and take, suck, swallow, burn, bake, rake, break, dis, excrete, desecrate and accumulate…  Yeah Yeah Yeah man….


Total shared experience. 


So, just to recap…


  1. Tickets are $200.
  2. Nobody gets paid. At all. Nobody.
  3. Everybody pays. Everybody.
  4. Everybody contributes and performs and creates and works and gives and self-sustains for free.
  5. Everybody pays.
  6. Nobody gets paid.


So some poor someone out there ISN’T getting paid $40,000 huh?

He must feel very unlucky.




One thought on “Super Burn

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Dr Vinyl Burns

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My Management: Kiwi Comedy Ltd.

My DJ Mixes: DJ Vinyl Burns

My Podcast: Jesus It's Early

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