Horse Pills and Blood Mormons


October 8, 2014 by vinylburns

Night Readers!

An excerpt from my radio show, Jesus It’s early – Episode 38

Available here: 

I’m out of my skull on meds, under this elliptical blood mormon moon.

So… grain of salt…

I think I have some foster children out there somewhere.
Or maybe I’m meant to be looking after some myself. I get pretty confused sometimes.
It’s pretty stressful be the worlds fastest lover and the towns shallowest ditch.

I’m a couple of lessons short of a good schooling but I’m always eyes open to the knowledge and the funk of life.

I’m my own team.
I don’t have to be anywhere on time
I’m never late.
I never let anyone down and I never spill anything on your pants.
Sometimes it’s lonely but I’m a powerhouse of charisma from the seventies and sixties and fifties.
I’m playing all the hits and hurts in the tents and in yurts.

I’m a canvas DJ of slippery skinned tomorrow.

I used to be a hairdresser. That’s where I got to really understand horses and Kung fu.

I had a shop in Earl’s Court in 1975

That was a good year.
Like I said, Germans Herman is in prison for some things he said about jazz music.
Well, mainly for the fight that happened after he said them.

Well actually it was more for threatening to crash his helicopter into the beehive.

I don’t think he’s allowed back for happy hour at Bellamy’s again for a few months.

He’s a funny cat man.

He's out of control, in total control.

He’s out of control, in total control.

I myself am a doctor.
It’s a pretty serious occupation but I only do it part time and mainly when I’m playing golf or surfing.
There’s a lot less stress that way.
It means in practice that most of the work I do is more surf lifesaving and alcohol induced resuscitation. That’s cool though.
The glory is awesome.
Just one more track before I head out to the barn and bury myself in shingle and turds. It’s a ancient Himalayan remedy for seventeen different things.

I have about five of them at the moment so I’m gonna go for it this time.

By which I mean that I’ll take a bottle of gin, a metro magazine and some grapefruits too.

Just in case I get hungry. Or sexy. Or photographed.

Not in that order.

And so it ends. A week in the back of the bus, emotionally speaking.
It’s fun back there but you don’t see too much.
So out into the sunlight tomorrow. Bringing my simple seasoned beats to the laundry bar for their birthday magic.
Saturday afternoon 2 – 4pm.
You can be there too if you have a snappy outfit and a simple solution to the problem of mediocrity.

Hope to see you there.

One thought on “Horse Pills and Blood Mormons

  1. Hi Mate, love the stream of consciousness feel of this. I await with bated breath as to what your dark, fevered mind will come up with next.

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Dr Vinyl Burns

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My Management: Kiwi Comedy Ltd.

My DJ Mixes: DJ Vinyl Burns

My Podcast: Jesus It's Early

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