Top Eleven Kiwi cultural hacks for visitors to New Zealand 

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July 18, 2016 by vinylburns

Visitors to beautiful New Zealand have a steep learning curve to adapt to the local customs and traditions.

Here’s a quick FAQ to make for a smoother transition to Kiwi integration.



Top Eleven Kiwi cultural hacks for visitors to New Zealand

11) On New Zealand’s National day, Waitangi day, all café sandwiches are completely free. Just take one.

10) It’s considered polite when you sneeze or cough, to whisper “horses” to your neighbour.

9) When ordering at a café you should only order one drink at a time. You can pay in Australian or Fijiian coins.

8) A pleasing and ironic local custom is to greet any member of the current government with a fun, friendly chant of “Pony Lover! Tail Toucher! “. Often they will respond with handshake and a little dance.

7) Adopt New Zealand’s gender inclusive protocols by referring to people as “all of your selves” except at Christmas time, when it just sounds silly.

6) Never ever joke about animals.

5) Driving on the left hand side is more of a suggestion than a law.

4) New Zealand is too small a country to afford a real Prime Minister so instead we integrate the role with our mental health reintegration program. It’s working well.

3) New Zealand invented the pavlova cake, jet-boats, Uber, handles, solar power, gravity, sawdust and mouse traps.

2) The population is around 600,000 but they play a lot of fast running ball sports, so it’s hard to tell for sure.

1) Legally, when you board a ship, yacht, boat, kayak or canoe, you are no longer in New Zealand. This is a good way to renew your 3 month tourist Visa.


Hopefully this guide will ease the often difficult transition to life in New Zealand.
Welcome Home!


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Dr Vinyl Burns

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My Management: Kiwi Comedy Ltd.

My DJ Mixes: DJ Vinyl Burns

My Podcast: Jesus It's Early

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