Vinyl’s Top ten flight fact things

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July 9, 2018 by vinylburns

Global Citizens and Home Lovers!

I’m off on the road, touring again. So here are some top things that are in my face and on my mind, almost as often as I am in and on yours.

1) If you’re working security and you drop the customers phone, and it kind of breaks, probably don’t tell them.

2) If your flight is delayed 30 minutes, you can still be so late they call your name.

3) Always ask for two.

4) Tell people you’re in the movies, they’ll believe you.

5) Be super friendly but also really flustered. It’s a good combo.

6) If they’re weighing your carry-on, and your carry on is crazy heavy, cross you eyes all googly like, zig zag slightly as you pass them, and just walk on by… It totally works

7) They tell you to count the rows to the nearest exit. Don’t count. Just kind of feel the vibe of where they are, with your chakras.

8) What do you prefer… A guaranteed clean bowl when you arrive, or a guarantee that you won’t get a surprise douching half way through an article?

9) Societal norms end when you join the check-in line.

10) You’re nobody until they call your name

See you out there in the busy busy skies.


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Dr Vinyl Burns

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My Management: Kiwi Comedy Ltd.

My DJ Mixes: DJ Vinyl Burns

My Podcast: Jesus It's Early

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